Zac Goldsmith tastes like Lucozade and Madeira cake, Stephen Hammond has hints of sage and onion stuffing and Paul Scully smacks of sprouts.
These taste sensations are the results of an experiment undertaken by SW Londoner and James Wannerton, President of the UK Synaesthesia Association, which investigated the flavours of all 13 of South West London’s MPs.
Synaethesia is a neurological phenomenon in which irregularly routed cognitive pathways cause sensory input to be experienced through a second sense.
James Wannerton’s type of Lexical-gustatory synesthesia means different words trigger certain tastes and textures.
For many of the reported one in 23 synesthetes, this means noise is experienced as touch, numbers are seen as colours and days of the week have personalities.
“It’s as natural to me as smelling a flower,” James told SW Londoner. “One of the weird things about it is that it gives me a mouth feel. It’s like eating something.”
Such an experience can at times be a hinderance for James. He cannot shop at Sainsburys because of a distinct taste of cheap tart and struggles to remain friends with people called Derek, due to their uncanny resemblance to ear wax.
One of the most intriguing and mysterious qualities of Lexical-gustatory synathaesia is that the tastes triggered are not completely personal and subjective, but common across synesthetes.
The linguistic origins of each taste have been carefully identified and noted, and are now catalogued at the Universities of Edinburgh and Sussex.
As such, we can now announce the empirically verifiable tastes and aromas of South West London’s political class of ’15.
For the Conservatives, Chelsea and Fulham MP Greg Hands tastes like cold, cooked ham, while Battersea MP Jane Ellison tickles his tastebuds with cucumber and salad cream.
Putney MP Justine Greening bring to the synesthetes’ palate crusty bread while Sutton and Cheam MP Paul Scully tastes of perennial Christmas fare sprouts.
His party may be launching a referendum on Britain’s EU hip but Paul Scully, Sutton and Cheam MP, will always taste of Brussels.
Elsewhere, Wimbledon’s Stephen Hammond continues the Christmas dinner trend with strong undercurrents of sage and onion stuffing.
Twickenham’s Tania Mathias MP, who unseated Lib Dem rival and political heavy-weight Vince Cable on May 7, resembles the curious combination of fried onions and fudge.
Kensington’s Victoria Borwick tastes of unappetising sounding candle wax but she’s no drip.
Richmond Park’s Zac Goldsmith, known for his toothsome good looks as well as his rebellious status in his party, tastes of the surprising combination of Madeira cake and Lucozade.
Across the house and taste spectrum, some distinct hues of cracked, hard boiled eggs emanate from Labour and Streatham’s Chuka Umunna.
Washing up liquid is the flavour from Tooting’s Sadiq Khan, and cream soda and bread and butter pudding from Mitchem and Morden’s Siobhain McDonagh.
A splash of ordinary water combined with Orange Spangles comes from Croydon North’s Steve Reed.
On his own in the area but equally as flavoursome, Liberal Democrat MP for Carshalton and Wallington Tom Brake stirs up a heavy tang of tinned, plum tomatoes.
Featured picture courtesy of @MARIA@, with thanks
